A Sober Reminder

I found this story on KSL.com 3 officers dead, suspect killed in Oakland, Calif. It is a sober reminder of the dangers I and thousands of others face every day at work. Most folks leave for work and simply assume they will return home safely. I don't have that luxury and I have become somewhat complacent recently. Complacency in law enforcement is deadly and I must re-focus. As long as I can still draw breath I will fight with everything I have to go home to my family at the end of my shift.

With this new story in mind I want to re-circulate two already well circulated poems. If you've already read them they're always worth re-reading:

"Policeman's Prayer"
When I start my tour of duty God, Wherever crime may be, as I walk the darkened streets alone, Let me be close to thee.
Please give me understanding with both the young and old. Let me listen with attention until their story's told. Let me never make a judgment in a rash or callous way, but let me hold my patience let each man have his say.
Lord if some dark and dreary night, I must give my life, Lord, with your everlasting love protect my children and my wife.
--Author Unknown--

"The Final Inspection"
The policeman stood and faced his God, Which must always come to pass. He hoped his shoes were shining. Just as brightly as his brass.
"Step forward now, policeman. How shall I deal with you? Have you always turned the other cheek? To My church have you been true?"
The policeman squared his shoulders and said, "No, Lord, I guess I ain't, Because those of us who carry badges can't always be a saint.
I've had to work most Sundays, and at times my talk was rough, and sometimes I've been violent, Because the streets are awfully tough.
But I never took a penny, That wasn't mine to keep.... Though I worked a lot of overtime When the bills got just too steep.
And I never passed a cry for help, Though at times I shook with fear. And sometimes, God forgive me, I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place Among the people here. They never wanted me around Except to calm their fear.
If you've a place for me here, Lord, It needn't be so grand. I never expected or had too much, But if you don't.....I'll understand.
There was silence all around the throne Where the saints had often trod. As the policeman waited quietly, For the judgment of his God.
"Step forward now, policeman, You've borne your burdens well. Come walk a beat on Heaven's streets, You've done your time in hell."
--Author Unknown--

PETA Nuts

So today my much anticipated weekly issue of Sports Illustrated arrived in the mail. I grabbed it and headed to the one and only place I can get a moment's peace and quiet in the house, my fortress of solitude otherwise known as the bathroom. I sat upon the porcelain throne and leafed through the periodical. Inside I found an article by Phil Taylor describing the latest ridiculousness of my least favorite group of nutty people,PETA. PETA, you know the group that believes the preamble to the United States Constitution begins "We the animals, critters, and invertebrates of the United States...", that PETA is apparently demanding Michael Vick be subjected to a brain scan to determine if he has psychopathic tendencies. Now I don't agree with the dog fighting Michael Vick was involved in, but he has done his time in prison and no longer has his dogs. These people are crazy. They care more about making a ridiculous statement than about the lives of actual people or about human rights in general. I wonder if they are aware that there is genocide in Darfur. I'd like to see a couple PETA representatives head out to Darfur and try to drum up support for their group. "Hey Mr. Ungawe, I know your kids have been killed, your wife raped and murdered and your home and all earthly belongings burned to the ground, but we have a crisis in America. Animals don't have rights. Let me give you some of our literature. You'll see we are now in the process of demanding a millionaire athlete convicted of dog fighting be forced to take a brain scan before he is allowed to go back to making millions of dollars by playing football. That's American football not that intensely boring game you folks call football, and you are using synthetic balls, and finding a pitch free of ant hills right?? Anyway I digress. You see our rapists and murderers do not require these scans but this despicable man has violated the very rights these dogs don't have under our constitution and so a scan he must take! We at PETA are sure you are sympathetic and would be willing to make a donation. Also we know food is scarce and protein hard to come by but we're also sure you'll pledge to stop eating tasty animals." Yeah that would go over real well. How about focusing some of that excess energy crazy people all seem to have on something a little more important there PETA?? Thanks.

Quote of the Week

"...proficiency in bullying bank employees and shooting peace officers is no guarantee of common sense." -- Robert Barr Smith in his book, Tough Towns: True Tales from the Gritty Streets of the Old West; writing about Pretty Boy Floyd (pictured above) and a botched robbery of a bank in Boley, Oklahoma in 1932.

Torture

My wife has been hounding me for some time to go visit the local dungeon and torture chamber she calls the dentist's office. I brush vigorously daily and having no tooth aches did not feel I needed to be subjected to pain causing instruments only dreamed about by despotic world dictators and their henchmen. I had not been to the tooth doctor in over a decade and finally after months of nagging I was removed from the conversation and decision making all together. My wife finally took things into her own hands and secretly made appointments for both of us for the same day.

Knowing I wouldn't willing go to the dentist with her she lured me into the car with the promise of dropping off the kids at the babysitter's. We would have some time to ourselves for once she promised. Like a dog who thinks he's being driven to the park to go chase tennis balls instead of going to the vet for a rabies shot I jumped in the car. That was a mistake. The doors locked all around me but I wasn't yet concerned. Not until after we dropped off the kids. It was then I realized we weren't headed toward the movie theater or a restaurant. We were going the wrong direction. Panic rose as I realized where she was taking me. Oh how I had been betrayed.

We pulled into the parking lot and having no other choice it was into the waiting room. Being a new patient I had to fill out a ream of paperwork. That being taken care of my name was called and I was led into the depths of the dungeon. I could see the horror in the eyes of the other "patients" already being worked over. After some time waiting I was subjected to a large dose of radiation. The x-rays revealed one cavity. Not bad for ten plus years of no dental appointments! Then the head man himself came in and began poking around inside my mouth. He told me he had found four other smaller cavities which had not shown up on the x-ray. Still not bad I thought so let's get these things taken care of so I can go live another ten peaceful years.

Skip forward to the treatment. Two people in masks hovering overhead. The whiny sound of a spinning drill. My jaw stretched open wide beyond its limits. The dentist is drilling away and I notice smoke billowing out of my mouth. I can actually smell burning teeth. Is this supposed to be happening I want to ask, but cannot speak nor can I break into his conversation about the last episode of HBO's Big Love. My mouth is potentially on fire and they are discussing a television show about fundamentalist Mormon polygamists. Maybe it will set off the smoke detector and someone will take notice. No such luck and suddenly I feel a sharp pain and start kicking my leg to get the doc's attention. "Sorry about that" he says and mutters something about the speed of that drill causing heat but a different drill will help. He's back in my mouth and I feel like my head it being jackhammered from the inside out. Had I been an enemy combatant in Guantanamo I would have been screaming the location of Osama Bin Laden and pledging my allegiance to baseball, apple pie, crappy reality TV and obesity caused by a sedentary lifestyle. The all American combo. Eventually the drilling, jackhammering, and jaw stretching ceased and my cavities were filled. Now that George W. is out of office maybe we can do something about government sanctioned torture. I suggest starting with a bunch of guys who like to hand out floss and toothbrushes.

The Green Canary Begins

So I've decided to get back into this blogging thing. My beloved bride has taken it up and encourage me to join her. The title of my blog is a reference to my chosen profession; law enforcement. The hose jockies or bucket monkies as we affectionately call firefighters have been known to call cops "blue canaries". That is they send us in to find out if it's safe for them to enter. Well I work for the Sheriff's Office. We don't wear blue we wear green; thus the title, "The Green Canary".



This blog will cover a menagerie of topics from my job to my twin boys and baby girl to the clown college that is the Utah state legislature. I'll post observations, current events, entertaining videos, thought provoking prose, amazing photos, and sometimes just pure crap. Regardless of the content I hope you, the reader, will return on a regular basis and contribute with comments as long as they are not anti-law enforcement. If you are anti-law enforcement, and therefore in all likelyhood a criminal, please do not post here. Take your worthless ramblings to any one of the many cop hating websites available on the web (I may even make it easy for you and post a link from time to time). I will not tolerate cop hating on my blog. I risk my ass everyday to save yours so if you don't have anything good to say about the Poe-Leece don't say anything at all. Thus begins the blog of the Green Canary.